The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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