My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize