dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
