It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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