It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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