Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
