You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
