The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I would ride that face into the sunset
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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