She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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