You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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