sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
