...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
