So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
