he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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