The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
