I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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