Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
