Duck Duck Cougar?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
