if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
