After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
