Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
