I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
