My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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