kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize