I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You are a booty call, not a friend.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
