"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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