Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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