I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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