Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
