You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
