i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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