bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
