hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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