we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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