mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
