I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She told me I should be a condom model.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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