yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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