Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
