Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
