dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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