Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
