I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
