the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Oh god it's open bar.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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