She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize