I could make wine with my vomit
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
