Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
