What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
