And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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