The maid of honor just puked.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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