Your face is a jimmy john
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Are my feet made of real feet?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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