Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
