Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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