i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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