hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
