Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
