but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
