They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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