Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
