never play flip cup with pint glasses
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
