He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
