I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
